Tuesday, April 11, 2006
what shld i sae abt my life for this pass few daes?haiiss..its a disaster.i need to get thru it.hasnt been great.esp when todae is suppose my one month but yet,we fight.had a big fight,what the fuck!luckily we break le.im not gonna be sadover her anymore.she's not worth my sadness...i hope by saeinthat...i myself realli can get over it.i dun wan to drag this on..i have to let go..let go of everything..i dun wan to feel anymore pain for her.its a tragedy...a nightmares that is scarin me...im afraid....to suffer much more for her.God pls get me out of this life...that is tearin me apart..i have to fuckinget my right life now..cant let this go on...i will disappoint everyone,esp my pig...she thinks that i am lyk..haiiss...what a sad dae it is..i cant go on hurtin everyone ard me..that cares for me...without XINER,i am stil able to go on with life....YES i can!!!frens,pls help me thru...rite now,im runnin away from the fact...i nid to..if not,the joanna u see todae,wouldnt be smilin out alreadi...haiiss...nvmx.just let me be,it has be a sad dae for me.i cant let others worry for me.i have to be strong...im worried for my sweetie,in sch,whenever she see me,she's just weird.as if she is avoidin me.but i noe,whenever i saw her,i manage to put on a smile=]..seein her makes me happy too.i saw her sweet smile todae.how i wish,everydae is lyk tis.when i get to see sweetie's smile,all my worries are gone.i dunno what is so special of her,to calm me down.to makes me smile,to brighten up my dae.she is my sweetie.thats onli her..onli she can makes me feel this dae.onli she can makes me feel the love again.thanks sweetie.ure sumone special to me.i wan to makes u smile.dun ever be hearttbroken.cuz i am worried..its not ur fault for everythin..wish upon a star,n sumhow ur wish wil cum true too.frens will cum n go,but owax rmb that,joanna yongwill owax stay by ur side.im not ur fren,im ur sweetie!so that is why i wont go away..nvr will i go.i swear!i love u my sweetie maryann.i seriously do=]hui you na me yi tian..i dunno who i like rite now..i noe my feelins for xiner is there...but i have to let it go.frens frm other class stare at me,with a look...a sarcastic look.im sad..i dun even mean to brk sherilynmeimei..her heart.,...im sorri.very sorrie..i seriously wan the best for my meimei...i cant even be bothered with the yeogirl le lahhs..haiiss...sad case...i wan my meimei to be happi..im sad.cuz i cant believe that...people has been givinme that look..i nid a break from all this hurts!gosh,how i wishmy meimei wuld forgive me...i am sad.i realli am.i dun wan tobreak my meimei heart...meimei,pls forgive me=[..i would do anythin...if i can make u smile again.haiiss...somehow i hope,ihad nvr knew xiner..but,oh well...this is my life..i just have to go to wherever it leads me too...my life is all dash.i cant be bothered with xiner anymore...we walk pass each otherwithout a hello or what.we just,simply walk pass lyk this.haiiss,,i wan to love esther back.but her feelin is with zhihao,she will nvr lyk me back.i tried to care alot for her..i wan her to noe..i wan her to understand..that i can like her back.i wan to...i wan her..i wan her tofeel the love i gave her before...once more..to let her feel it.but its a PITY cuz when i lyk xiner,i seriously has no feelinfeelin for esther le...for xiner i first time give up on esther.though seriously i care alot for esther..cant possibly ask me to give up totally on esther mahhs..nvmx lahh.since she wants me togo lyk esther,well,....ILOVEESTHER!!!haiiss..i may sound heartless.but if this is the onli wae mahhs..to forget xiner.feelin has totally faded..i hope i wont hurt anymore people...people who seriously care for me..lyk natalie,gera wu,kuku,PIG,kat,shilin,shirley,hafi,gwen,suzlynn,zhenxiu,rena,jiaqian,another half,sarah laogong..and much more....hey,wake joanna yong!its not as if my life is gone.i am still alright arrx!haiiss...i noe i have alot of frens by my side...if janelle they all gonna give me that look,i wont have to care...i haveothers fren...AND ESPECIALLY SWEETIE!!!!i just have to find mysself..let me take sum time to..okie?joanna can smile...ya she is smilin everydae..she has more smile in her than tears...its bcuz,she's runnin away from thetruth..afraid of gettin hurt=[i am bein suspended from social studies class.i cant go back anymore..till the last dae of the year...sigh..i never go for 5items..i have no mood to..and also,i cried in my english lesson todae..i receive a heartbreakin leta.why shed tears for sumthin lyk this?i dunno..its all beyond my control.haiiss..rena n jessica broke up todae...i comforted rena..she cried...i told her alot of things..to let go etc..but what abt me?i myself dun evenwan to listen to what others sae haiiss...i am SAD.i seriously am!
i dun wan to hear tat u are goin.
i thot that u wuld be my fren,
i dun wan to be left anymore.
u told me that u love me,
it was stupid of me to believe.
we are too young to even feel tt wae.
but i nvr thot tt u would leave,
i cant turn back the clock.
i wouldnt ever wan to hurt u.
i nid u to be my rock,
i cant delete u from my life,
i tink abt u everydae.
but i cant make u lyk me again..
all i could ask is,
would u please stay?
im nt askin much from u!=[
i realise siewling likes xiner=[
i realise sherilyn mei lyks her too..
that is what i heard from my*laogong.haiiss..
xiner likes sumone..we will nvr be together again.
so joanna yong,please get out of thatr dream that
is leadin u to no where except to a place called hell!!
nvr ever will we be togetheR!!!nvr ever!!
*my tears cant help it but to flow down now*
imagine me without you,haiiss...how i wish..a dae wil
come..when we can be back together,where i am able to
hear that u sae tt u stil loves me.at least for the last time!
ive shed countless tears for u,but all u sae is that,my leta
is simply nth but just craps and rubbish!!!sobsob*
i need you...return back to me..
i am so lost and confused...
rainbow after the storm,
i will be alright.soon after
the storm is thru..just guide
me thru rite now..seriously i
dunno how am i going to live now.
haiiss...
my darlin huiqing torn my heart apart that dae.
a leta from her,that seriously tear my heart!
we've ended our frenship...its torn...
misunderstandin is all that causes us to end!
im sorrie.veri sorrie.i cant be there for you,
ANYMORE!!!
cried on,
17:28.
its gonna be tears
n blood that
im shedin=[
{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
12:22 AM
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